The Horse Fix
The Horse Fix
Finding Confidence and Connection in the Saddle Again
Picture this: You've been out of the saddle for weeks, recovering from surgery, and now it's time to face your beloved horse again. How do you overcome the fear and regain your confidence? Join Dr. Sandra Holt and Nora Dhondt in this episode of The Horse Fix as they share valuable insights and personal experiences about reconnecting with your horse after a prolonged break. We promise you’ll walk away with practical strategies to stay calm, breathe, and set yourself up for a safe, enjoyable return to riding.
Beyond riding, what does it take to build a genuine relationship with your horse? We explore how seemingly simple acts of grooming, petting, and just 'being there' without any work expectations can transform your bond. Nora highlights how these moments, especially when dealing with moody mares, can make your partnership more affectionate and willing. By treating every interaction as a nurturing opportunity rather than a task, you’ll learn how to make your horse look forward to your time together.
Finally, discover the grounding and therapeutic nature of horses that goes far beyond the stables. Horses teach us patience, offer emotional healing, and provide a space for reflection. Whether it's volunteering at a therapeutic riding center or simply spending time with these majestic animals, the benefits are profound. From making life decisions to finding peace, the bond with horses proves invaluable, and even non-horse owners can reap these rewards. Tune in for an episode that not only speaks to your love for horses but also touches on the deeper aspects of personal growth and well-being.
May all your blues be ribbons
Hello everyone and thanks for tuning back in to the Horse Fix, where you can get a horse fix, perhaps fix your horse at the same time and maybe even help yourself along the way. I'm Dr Sandra Holt and I'm coming to you from my studio here in Longview, texas. It's a beautiful day today. I am excited. I have Nora, your favorite, back with me again. She's become a regular on our show, which pleases me, and we are going to answer some questions that I promised to answer back in the last podcast and didn't get to them. So today we're going to answer those questions for you and talk a little bit about what's been going on in our little horse bubble. So let's go ahead and get started. I've been pretty busy this last month and a half since the last podcast. I've done several horse appraisals, I've been to a horse show and back, I've been training and been just really busy horse related wise, and it's been great. Then this weekend, nora arrived and so she's back with us and we're going to be talking to her soon. And but, as promised, I told you that I would address some questions. So here we go.
Speaker 1:The first question came to me in form of a letter from a lady named June Parks, from Ontario, canada, and here's what she wrote Hi, dr Holt. I was wondering what your advice would be to someone who is getting back on their horse for the first time in eight weeks. I had major surgery and have been just given clearance from my doctor to ride again. I've been waiting for this day and now that it is here, I find myself apprehensive. My confidence is not as strong as I thought it would be. I can't believe how I am dreading my first ride back. I've really missed riding and have missed my horse, so why am I so doubtful? How should I get over my apprehension? Sincerely, june Parks, ontario Canada.
Speaker 1:Well, june, let me start by saying you are definitely not alone. Many people find themselves so excited about being able to ride again and then, as that day approaches, they start worrying about things. They do get apprehensive. So I'm going to let Nora help me answer this question, because she just had the same situation. I think she was off for about six weeks at least after major surgery. So let's all say hi to Nora and we'll continue on with this question. Hi, nora. Hello, I'm glad you're back with us. I know my listeners are too. We've been riding since Nora got here to visit, and she's been having a great ride on her horse. It's been a little while since she's been able to ride as well, and so I thought, oh, this is a good question to talk about today. Nora. What are your feelings about this?
Speaker 2:Well, for someone that just had two surgeries, and the last one being six weeks ago and I had to get clearance to be back on my horse I've been off a while and I just decided to take the chance and go slowly and make sure you know I was really okay to proceed with what I wanted to do and just not focus on anything in particular and just go with the flow.
Speaker 1:That's a good point, because not only people like in this situation are worried about riding and how strong they will be physically not just mentally, but physically on their horse. So you know, you have to take all that into consideration. Nora, I was expecting you to be less confident, I was expecting you to be less balanced and I was expecting it to take some time for you to get reconnected with your horse after all that time. But boom, you got on the horse and she and you just clicked and it was wonderful, thank you so what do you attribute to that?
Speaker 2:well, I try to be calm around my horse. That's the first thing. I try to breathe. Remember to breathe, because I'm always holding my breath. She is Because you know they do feel your energy. I would say take it slowly, breathe, just take your time and don't have any expectations. Get back on your horse and see how it works and work through it, and time is on your side actually, Were you like June?
Speaker 1:Were you apprehensive and not very competent and were you kind of dreading getting back on? No?
Speaker 2:I was getting excited.
Speaker 1:You were getting excited.
Speaker 2:I was getting excited because I missed her presence and what she provides to me. It's very spiritual and very enlightening and she makes me feel like I've accomplished something at that moment, in that time frame in that day for me to continue on with my day? Yeah, so I just said I'm just going to come down here and do the best that I can and just go with it and not look at it as I've achieved anything or I didn't achieve anything.
Speaker 1:Nora brings up a great point Don't be hard on yourself, don't have expectations for you or your horse. I mean, you have nothing to prove to anybody. You just do as it feels right to you, and if it doesn't feel right, then it's not time. So take it in that respect and then and I don't know what you've done in the meantime, but I think it's important for all of you listeners out there, if you're in that situation, keep your horse ready, keep your horse available to be ridden so that when you do get on, you have a safe, willing participant and will listen to you. And so I think it's important to choose someone to help you keep that horse legged up and to keep that horse using their thinking side of their brain and not their reacting side of their brain, because, god forbid, you don't want your horse to react to something while you're on it and you're not as stable as you were before as a rider. So, norah, you saw to it that your horse was taken care of.
Speaker 2:Well, I made a decision, thanks to your help, that you know you have to step out of the box and say to yourself what's best for my horse during this time that I have to be taken care of and I have to heal Right, and I couldn't have my horse just stand around and be in the pasture or just be lunged once in a while. So Sandy said, you know, if you want to relocate her down to where I'm at, I will continue to keep her going for you until you heal, until you're ready to have her back and get back on her and ride her and still feel safe and secure and confident. Feel safe and secure and confident and if you can have someone to help you trainer or someone that works with your horse while you're healing, okay. It's actually something that people really have to do, because the last thing you want is to be off many months and the horse hasn't done anything for months and then you get on the horse and it's just not a good situation.
Speaker 1:It's not fair to the horse. It isn't. It's not fair to you and I know it wasn't an easy decision for you because you sent your horse three and a half four hours away from where you were. You couldn't just hop in the car and run down to the barn and see your horse. It's a trip to get to see your horse. It is a trip to get to see your horse.
Speaker 2:It is a trip. However, I made the decision not as what is best for me, what is best for my horse, right, that was the best opportunity for her, for her livelihood. Yeah, I'm totally confident in that decision. Yeah, totally.
Speaker 1:And I was proud of you for making that decision because, folks, it's not easy to separate yourself from the horse that you love and when you find yourself having to do that, no matter what the situation is and you have to think of your horse first. I have a situation now where someone, due to family situations and such, couldn't keep their horse where they had it, so they sent it to where I am and I was able to get the horse leased out to a lovely young lady she's 15, who has just begun to ride, and I took her and her horse to the horse show with me and by golly she'd been riding two months and very trainable student. At any rate, she jumped into that horse show and came home with a high point. I was very proud of her and very proud of the horse. You were at the show.
Speaker 2:Yes, it was wonderful she did so well. So when I was at the show and I saw Kristen showing the horse, I thought, wow, she must have been riding for a long time, but she hasn't, and she's just started under Sandy's direction and it was just wonderful to see how well they gelled. But one other thing I want to say too is you know, what made it easy for me to make my decision, also about my horse, while I had my surgery and healing is the fact that I knew that my horse was going to be in excellent care, and so I was secure with that and her environment and where she was going. So that way for me, not seeing her, just seeing a picture every now and then, was good enough for me and it's been just wonderful.
Speaker 1:It's all been positive and I know for you, nora, that being with your horse is so therapeutic. I saw it this weekend. It was just. It was lovely to see, and you know your horse, just you and she just connected so quickly and so well and that was all really good. It's all really good, it's been wonderful, yes, okay. Well, I'm going to go to the next question then.
Speaker 1:But well, I do, june, don't be disheartened and, like Nora said, take your time and have no expectations whatsoever and be easy on yourself and be easy on your horse and if you haven't had anybody available to help your horse, keep going along and keep in their thinking side of their brain before you you get on. Think of this as an opportunity to get even closer to your horse and to build an even stronger connection with your horse. There are several things that you can do before you actually get on the horse. Actually get on the horse, particularly, do groundwork. Now, by doing groundwork, you're getting your horse to listen and to think and you're establishing a stronger rapport. But also you're instilling your confidence back in yourself, because as you work with your horse and your horse responds well and is thinking with you and is connecting to you, you're starting to feel stronger about your relationship with your horse and more confident so that when you do get on you're trusting not only your horse but you're trusting that you yourself can handle the situation. So the groundwork I'm talking about would be similar to showmanship maneuvers Walk your horse, have your horse walk right with you and then perhaps trot your horse. Have the horse trot with you and just stop when you stop and take two steps and then stop and if your horse doesn't respond to you, add a little correction there and then go on and do some more. Also kind of mix it up a little bit. Do some random requirements of your horse. For instance, ask your horse to walk next to you with long strides and then shorten your stride. And ask your horse to slow down and shorten its stride with you. Then perhaps stop and pivot and maybe back your horse. You know the whole time you're doing this your horse is tuned into you. The idea is to have that horse continue to be tuned in and lunge your horse and not just to take the fresh out but to put the calm in, to put the thinking side of his brain in action and to focus on you and do take it in stride and take baby steps for sure, totally, I agree with that. Yes, okay.
Speaker 1:Now the next question is from Paige. She's riding from Pennsylvania. Hi, sandy, I have a four-year-old quarter horse mare that I'm training to be a ranch riding horse. She's a great horse and she really works well for me. However, when I go to get her out of the pasture, she runs away from me, or if I go to get her out of the doll, she turns her back and puts her head in the corner.
Speaker 1:What is this all about and how can I fix it? You didn't give me any background as to what you actually are doing and how can I fix it. You didn't give me any background as what you actually are doing and how you're doing it, and so I don't know what the circumstances are exactly, but I can tell you this Consider if you're a mother and you wake your child up in the morning and you immediately pull them out of bed and make them wash the dishes, and then you make them sweep the floor bed and make them wash the dishes, and then you make them sweep the floor, and then you make them get in the shower, get dressed and send them off to school. How excited are they to see you the next morning not so much. So my thought to you is ask yourself are you speeding through your sessions with your horse? Are you trying to grab it and tack it up real quick, spend 30 minutes or however long you have, and then put it away and then get on with your day? Or are you going into the stall, talking to it, petting it, maybe giving it a carrot or putting a carrot in its bucket, if it's a nipper, and maybe then leaving the stall and then next time she sees you coming in the stall doing the same thing and spending some time and then bringing your horse out and grooming it and then maybe putting it out to pasture and not doing anything with it.
Speaker 1:Spending quality time with your horse doesn't mean that you stack up and you ride it hard and try and drill things into your horse and then get off of it and leave. It's all about connecting and developing a relationship with your animal. I'm not saying that you haven't already developed an ice cordial relationship with your horse. Obviously, it's a nice horse if it handles and is obedient to you when you're riding it, but there is something behind that.
Speaker 1:The horses are honest and there is always a reason for what they're doing. So you know, consider doing much more with your horse non-riding and non-working and then throw in your work sessions. Now you didn't tell me how long you worked your horse, but I would say you know, this is just for your horses, not for everybody's horses out there, but for this particular case at least, starting back in, I would not ride it every single day. I would ride it maybe three, four times a week and then those other times just spend some time bonding with your horse and getting them to like you and want to see you and want to be around you. Nora, have you ever had that experience? Oh, I've had that experience.
Speaker 2:Oh, my goodness, I've had a lot of mares, and my mares are. I call them my Italian girls. They're moody Very moody.
Speaker 2:And I know that when I go to the stall and my mare has her back towards me, she just doesn't want to deal with me, she's done for the day, and I'm like no, you're not, you know. So I coach them back in towards me to feel my energy and then basically what I normally do, I just might take them out of the stall and start grooming them and petting them and brushing their tail and doing their feet and just letting them know that I'm there, that connection again, and it doesn't mean that you take them out and you just get them ready to ride or do an activity or lunch them. Sometimes the pampering and the nurturing, not only with the mares most in general, but also the geldings, it goes a long way. Oh yeah, and so when you start nurturing them like that, it's much easier to get them out in the pasture and the field and they will come to you you know, it's not just oh, I have a job today.
Speaker 2:That's what's worked for me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and that's a good point that they shouldn't have to have a job every single day and for many hours a week If she's running from you in the pasture, my suggestion is don't have a time limit. Don't bring your halter with you and go out and pet your horse, Then leave. The next day, go out, do the same, and if I can almost guarantee there's never guarantees, but I can almost guarantee that she will not run from you when you walk out there without your halter Well then the next step is you go out with your halter, but you don't put it on her. You pet her, maybe give her a carrot, scratch her. They love scratches. They love to be scratched on the withers or on the belly or whatever.
Speaker 1:Have your halter with you, Let her see it, but don't put it on her. Then do that a couple of times. Then go out and put a halter on her, but don't bring her out of the pasture. Just put the halter on her, scratch her, tell her good or tell him good and spend a little time with them. Leave it's a process and it takes a while, but it really will pay off. And then get in the pasture, put the halter on. Really will pay off and then get in the pasture. Put the halter on, take them out of the pasture, maybe groom them, put them back in the pasture and sometimes people don't have that kind of leisure to be able to get there and do that. So then get asked someone else to do it for you. Just get them comfortable with people being around them and going to get them and knowing that they do not have a big job to do every single day.
Speaker 2:You agree, nora. I totally agree. Yes, it takes some time. You know, nurturing is just like when you have a friend right, you go and see them all the time because you're friends and you want to be with them and you spend time with them and then if you want to do an activity with them, you do so. It's all about communication connection If you want to do an activity with them you do so.
Speaker 1:It's all about communication connection. Yeah, I mean, horses are not unlike people. They want to be able to feel that just being with you a pleasant experience. So those are my two questions that I promised to answer, and I hope that some of you listeners out there got something out of that. I sure love hearing from you all, and it's very gratifying for me to be able to answer your questions, and your questions and my answers are heard from all over the world and I know that they're helpful. So thank you for listening and thank you for doing that. So, Nora, what have you been up to?
Speaker 2:What have I been up to? Okay, well, just you know, working, raising my son, still, of course, even though he's going to be 20.
Speaker 2:I always say that I know yes, I do have another mare that I tend to pretty much every day. Yeah, the mother of my mare, the mother of her mare, yes, and I just spend as much time at the barn as I can with her and just go about my daily activities, while I'm healing and reading a lot and trying to get a lot of things done, organizing stuff like that now your mirror has white line disease yes, I'm tending to that, that's.
Speaker 2:That's been a little bit of a struggle the last two weeks. I was going to ask how that was going. It's not going. Yeah, I've been getting all different types of concoctions that have been uh suggested, but now I have something else that I need to talk to my farrier about. Tomorrow or tuesday it's not that bad, but uh, it's just. Uh had to have her shoes taken off and so that way I can treat her feet correctly. But she's, she's fine you know she's getting's getting through.
Speaker 1:It's frustrating.
Speaker 2:It is a little frustrating because I want to take care of it so it doesn't progress.
Speaker 1:Right, you call it on time.
Speaker 2:Well, yeah, my farrier said hey, this is what's going on. You know that's another thing. Folks, you have to really rely and respect your farrier oh, yes, your farrier is everything Feet are everything and if you've got a great farrier, which I've had for many, many years, who's done all my horses, and have that respect and good communication that you're way ahead of the game yeah especially if you have a gelding, because your gelding are only as good as their feet.
Speaker 1:If a gelding doesn't have good feet, you don't have a horse At least a mare you can breed them and a stallion you can use. But gelding, you know you, you know you got to take care of your horse's feet, regardless of their gender, but it's still, I mean, that's extremely important. So when do you think you'll put shoes back on her?
Speaker 2:any idea I'm thinking about. I just want to give her some time to get through this heal and have her feet to air. Yeah, you know, and I'd say probably within the next few weeks. I hope You're patient.
Speaker 2:Yes, Well of course, yes, I mean, her health is everything, yeah, and you have to sometimes take a few steps back, yep, and then you can go forward. I mean, that's life and I've learned that a lot I don't have I'm not the one of, I'm not a kind of person that is patient with anything. However, my horses have taught me to be patient. They have taught me to be patient good point and I have, and I've had them for many years and, like I say, I'm a new york Italian, a go-getter type A, can't stop 10 things in a way, yeah, but when I'm around my horses, it's like they remind me you need to take, you need to breathe.
Speaker 1:Yes, you know, that brings up such a good point. Horses teach us a lot.
Speaker 2:Oh yes.
Speaker 1:And in fact, I had a conversation with one of my favorite people, phil hoggan. He has the podcast be your best horsemanship anyway, when I was having my conversation with him. He's such a humble person, he's done so much, he's so successful and he's world renowned. And I said, phil, how is it that you're so humble? He said horses. He's, horses have humbled me and and that just brings up the point that horses do teach you so much. They do teach you patience and and they teach you how to breathe and calm down and and to appreciate life.
Speaker 2:And you know, with the way the world is today and hopefully it will be better soon the way things are, all the chaos and and the negativity that that sits by our side every day, having a horse really can help well, not only that, you know, if you can't afford a horse, there's so many of these therapeutic centers that you can volunteer at, yeah, and get acquainted with horses and children or adults and assist in their journey, and it is so rewarding. And let me say this, and let me say this I am a businesswoman and I've made some of my best deals after I've got done riding on some days with my horses. They've made me reflect and calm down and take a deep breath on what my next business decision was going to be, that I had to make financially for our company and our future. And and that came from after a good ride and I had time to reflect and slow down my world, you know, no phone, yeah, no one interfering with you.
Speaker 2:It's almost like meditation. Well, yeah, it's like you. You shut the world off. You have to shut the world off, yep, and you focus on being on that horse and having your trainer help you if you have a trainer and just have that time for yourself, because life is so short, you have to really take that time for yourself, and I'm the worst person to do that. However, it does put my world back in perspective. Yes, what is so?
Speaker 1:important. Yes, especially someone like you, because you are high powered business woman and you do international sales and you're on call all the important. Yes, especially someone like you, because you are a high-powered businesswoman and you do international sales and you're on call all the time. People expect a lot of you and for you to be able to have the horse to just zen you out a little bit. I'm sure that helps a lot After a long day.
Speaker 2:Sometimes I'm exhausted, but I just think I'm going to get in my truck and go up there and see my mare and groom her and graze her, and the wind is blowing and the sun is shining and it's my time. Yes, I'm not on the phone. The phone is shut off in my truck and I'm spending time with her and I get myself back to where I need to be mentally Right. It's so helpful. It's such a gratification. It is.
Speaker 1:It really is. And those of you listening out there, if you don't have a horse in this and we're making it sound so wonderful to have one, but we do need to let you know that it's not inexpensive to own a horse. You can make it less expensive, you know. But Nora and I were laughing and talking about this earlier, along with one of our friends out at the barn, samantha, and we were talking about how we spend more money on our horses than we do on ourselves. I mean, I, I know I will say I'm not gonna go to the hairdressers this month because I want to get a new bridal.
Speaker 2:Oh, better than that. I won't get a pedicure or manicure for the next 60 days because I want to get MagnaWave. Yeah. Yes, on my horse, a small treatment, yes. So trust us. I mean, we have maneuvered that around too, but it's amazing because we do make them the priority over us, but they give us so much back. You know, a lifetime of wonderful rewards. But, like I say, if you can't afford a horse, go volunteer at a place that has horses for children or adults. You get such satisfaction out of it. You do.
Speaker 1:And guys, you're never too young or you're never too old to go get involved with a horse for the first time, right? I mean, you can be a preteen and people out there love to have your help and they will teach you. Or you can be in your 80s and it's something that might have been on your bucket list and you just don't know how to quite do it. Look up your local therapeutic riding program or go visit a stables nearby and talk to them a little bit. See if you might be able to just kind of wiggle in there. If it's something you always wanted to do, or if you have found yourself very afraid but you wanted to conquer that fear of horses, get yourself out there, do a little research and step out of that box and just go for it and you won't regret it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I agree yeah.
Speaker 1:Well, guys, we're right at our 30-minute. That went fast, didn't it? That went real fast. We're right at our 30 minute. That went fast, didn't it? That went real fast. I just want to thank you all for listening and please share. If you're enjoying and resonating with this podcast, share it with your friends and give us a thumbs up and give me a rating and tune in next time. We'd love to hear from you and, as always, may all your blues be ribbons.
Speaker 2:Bye, bye thank you everyone.