The Horse Fix
The Horse Fix
Embracing 'Enough': The Transformative Journey of Horses, Self-Discovery, and Growth
Choosing a guiding word for the year can be transformative, and for me, embracing “enough” has been a journey of self-acceptance and growth. This episode starts with my reflections on the concept of being "enough" and how it guides us toward contentment, even as we strive for personal improvement. Along the way, we address a listener's query from Honduras about horseback riding techniques, underscoring the crucial role of open communication with instructors to achieve balance and alignment in riding.
Joining me is Quentin Dhondt, a former student whose journey from horses to a career in biology is nothing short of inspiring. Quentin shares how his experiences with thoroughbred Leo and his first horse, a quarter horse named Jesse taught him invaluable life lessons, from embracing responsibility at a young age to developing confidence and skills. His story is a moving testament to how horses have shaped his passion for animals and personal development, and now we celebrate the pivotal role these majestic creatures have played in his life.
Horseback riding is more than a sport; it's a reflection of teamwork and perseverance. Quentin and I explore how riding helped us both overcome doubts and build confidence, translating these lessons into life skills like patience and emotional connection. We discuss the power of consistent effort and the importance of embracing failures as stepping stones to growth. Wrapping up, we reflect on the dreams and aspirations within the equestrian world, celebrating the journey of self-discovery and transformation that comes with growing up around horses.
And as always I wish that All your blues be ribbons.
May all your blues be ribbons
Hi everyone and welcome to 2025. Can you believe it? It seems like just yesterday I was thinking that 2025 was way in the distance and yet here we are.
Speaker 1:And I was also thinking the age of 73 was way in the distance. And yet here I am. So I guess I have no choice but just to embrace it, and I will. In case you're wondering, you're listening to the Horse Fix. It's a place where you can get that horse fix, fix your horse at the same time and maybe even help yourself along the way.
Speaker 1:I'm Dr Sandra Holt and I'm coming to you from my studio here in Longview, texas. Today we're going to talk about a few things. First, I want to tell you about my words for the year. Every year I pick one or two words to get me through the year and I write them on my calendar every morning and I look at them to remind myself of my life goals. So I'm going to be talking to you about that for just a minute. Then I'm going to answer a question from one of the listeners who happens to be from Honduras. After that, I'm going to introduce you to a good friend of mine who I've known since he was six years old. He's now 20. He's going to give us a little insight as to what it was like growing up with horses and how it affected him. So let's get started.
Speaker 1:So this morning I was sitting outside very early. I wanted to watch the sunrise. It was very chilly. I had a blanket Actually I had two blankets around me I was snug and I watched the beautiful colors rise up in between the trees and literally felt like they were just coming right to me. You know, it dawned on me that nature doesn't try to prove anything, it just is and it is enough. Then it dawned on me I've struggled to be enough all my life and I thought why can't I view myself all my life? And I thought, why can't I view myself in that same light, that I don't need to prove anything to anyone and that I am enough. So I decided right then that that was going to be my word for the year enough, and that I was going to be enough, to be enough for everyone around me and particularly to be enough for me Also, that tangible things that I'm surrounded with are enough, and just to take everything at that moment and let that moment be enough at that moment, and let that moment be enough. Now, I'm not saying that I don't want to improve. I will always be a person that will want to improve myself. I don't think that has to battle being enough, as I'm improving that particular moment and what I'm doing in that moment will be enough. So yeah, I think I'll write that word down on my calendar and I will look at that. All right, then let's move on to the question.
Speaker 1:This question came to me from a gentleman in Honduras. He says I take lessons on my Lusitano horse. My riding teacher has taught me to ride with my upper body relaxed and to let my body be slightly behind the motion of the horse. But after I read your book called Rain Dancing, I am in conflict. You instruct differently, with a more upright position and straight alignment from head to toe. With my instructor's way. I do not feel balanced and I also do not feel my horse is in a good balance. But I am reluctant to question my riding teacher as she knows more than I do. I would greatly appreciate any advice. Sincerely, emanuel Hernandez.
Speaker 1:Well, emanuel, my great letter, and thank you for submitting it. You know there's so much to that, and to address everything that I saw in that letter and felt in that letter would take a whole podcast. So I'm not going to do that. But I promise you I will reach out to you and answer even more than I'm going to answer right now to you. Well, first, thank you for sending the letter and thank you for the compliment and thank you for listening to my podcast. I do really appreciate everyone who does.
Speaker 1:Secondly, let's talk a little bit about your reluctance to talk to your instructor. You know, communication is key in any time that you are attempting to learn something or if you're attempting to teach something. So, although horse trainers think that we can read a horse's mind, well, many times we can, but we do not profess to be able to read our students' minds, and so it's very important that you talk to your instructor and tell her exactly how you feel. You don't have to tell her that you think she's wrong, but you can tell her that you're not feeling balanced and that you're not feeling that your horse is balanced. And what can you do in addition to what she's asking you to do? Keep in mind that she might have a good reason for telling you what she's telling you. I don't know this at all, but perhaps it might be that you're leaning too far forward and you're ahead of your horse, and perhaps she's telling you to lean back and get behind the horse's motion because she's just trying to get you somewhere in the middle and thinking that if she kind of overcompensates you'll end up where you need to be on the horse. I don't know, but but at any rate I don't know and you wouldn't know unless you talk to her about it. So I would definitely do that.
Speaker 1:I know quite a bit about working equitation and I do know that it's important that you stay in the middle of your horse, that you're centered and you're balanced on that horse, and there is a correct way to do that. Specifically, you're going to want to sit right over the 14th vertebrae of that horse and you're going to want to anchor your seat, but lightly, and you are going to want to align your ear to your shoulder, to your hip, to your heel, and so you're almost sitting. Well, you're not actually sitting on the horse if you really come down to think about it. The word sit, it kind of gives everyone the idea that you're relaxed, one the idea that you're relaxed. And well, it'd be like asking an athlete another athlete. You're an athlete by what you do on your horse, but by asking another athlete to just sit back and go with it. That wouldn't be the case if they wanted to be a good athlete, they have to use a certain amount of muscle and they have to use a certain amount of core strength.
Speaker 1:I might ask you, if I watched you ride too relaxed, I might ask you to tighten your core, not to stiffen, and you know, and she may be asking you to relax because you might be riding too stiff in your body. So you know, there may be a reason for that. I would ask you to tighten that core and to sit tall and to lengthen your entire body so that you can feel that horse. When you're too relaxed and you're sitting back, it's almost like you're sitting in a relaxed chair. If you look back in history, the straight back chairs the first real chairs that were ever built were built for the servicemen and the end servants so that they could spring up at a moment's notice, so that their feet were more underneath them and their feet were planted. And then, over the years, of course, chairs became lounge chairs and so, again, I think the attitude of sitting might be transferred over to the horse in the wrong way, transferred over to the horse in the wrong way. So I kind of I try and take the word sit out of my vocabulary when it comes to horses and say ride. You know, instead of sitting on my horse, I'm riding my horse. So anyway, that's my take on that and, like I said, I'm going to be getting a hold of you and explaining a few more things to you too, about working equitation and about writing Lusitanos, because Lusitanos definitely need help with their balance, and so we'll get to that. So thank you again for that question. I hope this answer helped. So thank you again for that question. I hope this answer helped.
Speaker 1:So now let's move on to the interview with Quentin. I have with me today a good friend. His name is Quentin Daunt. I met Quentin when he was about oh I guess six years old. He's now 20. And when I met him he became a student of mine and I got to experience him getting on a pony for the first time. Now he's quite the accomplished rider. So we're going to talk through a little bit of his life with horses. Quentin Daunt, how are you?
Speaker 2:I'm good. How are you?
Speaker 1:Fine, thank you, it's so good to have you here. It makes me reminisce, and I'm glad that we have stayed in each other's lives and stayed in contact. Quentin, you were quite the student of mine and I think I taught you quite a bit, and also not only about horses, but I think you resonated with what I was trying to accomplish to teach you a little bit about life as well and self-respect and respect for others and responsibility and all the things that horses can bring into our lives. So, quentin, tell me a little bit about where you are right now.
Speaker 2:Right now I'm trying to pursue a path in the biology field. I guess this just kind of resides with my passion for animals and just the human body and just the way things work field. I mean, I guess this just kind of resides with my passion for animals and, you know, just the human body and just the way things work. So, um, I'm gonna do some volunteering with some horses in a little bit too it's been a couple of years since you owned your own horse.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you sold him to concentrate on college, correct? Yeah, yeah, so how was it with? Leo was his name. You had him for how many years?
Speaker 2:I mean, I probably had him for about six years or so Six years, and you got him when he was green.
Speaker 1:He was like a four-year-old and you were gosh 13 maybe yeah, and so here he has. Okay, this is the thoroughbred guys, and he measured out when you sold them at what 18?
Speaker 2:18. It was actually a little over 18, too. 18, too yeah.
Speaker 1:And this I mean big guy, gentle, giant for sure, but he was green at the time and Quentin was 13 years old and so he took on a big responsibility and I remember telling him to not be afraid, to be cautious and to be mindful of his responsibility toward that horse and Quentin. I remember thinking to myself I was kind of afraid for you Because, yeah, kind of afraid for you because, yeah, quentin has now grown into, uh, quite the quite the man physically, but at the time he I called him sticks because he was a scrawny little guy, but he, he did develop a lot of confidence and some skill when he was working with me. Yeah, quentin, tell them a little bit about Jesse and and and how that all came about.
Speaker 2:Oh, my gosh. I mean she was something else. I mean she was amazing. She was such a wonderful horse. I mean it took a lot, though it took a lot of patience. For sure, she was not easy in the beginning it was was not easy horse.
Speaker 1:She had an attitude, she had a big attitude, and if she didn't like something, she was not a silent sufferer.
Speaker 2:I was just thinking of the things that we could accomplish. That was just kind of kept me hopeful and motivated. I was looking at the bigger shows. I'm like, oh my gosh, I want to get there at one point.
Speaker 1:You've always been goal-oriented and I think that was a real good stage for you. I remember I think you were around seven when we went to the Fort Worth Stock Show Huge classes when did you figure out that writing was something that would be? I mean, what was the turning point? Do you remember the day or the moment or the year that you said, okay, this is for me?
Speaker 2:At first it was my parents' curiosity. Honestly, they were a little bit skeptical about it in the beginning because they were like I don't know, our son doesn't seem like he's the type of person that could get on a horse.
Speaker 1:Well, and you were young too. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:So it definitely was a little scary for them for sure. So I'm very grateful, beyond grateful. I mean, that was the best thing that they could have ever done for me, for sure.
Speaker 1:Awesome, awesome. You know, folks, I forgot to mention that Quentin's mother is Nora. Nora Daunt, who you've heard before on my podcast, is my best friend, so I'm grateful to her too for bringing up Quentin the way she has and to be starting him from the very beginning with those writing lessons.
Speaker 2:Honestly, from the beginning I didn't know if it was the right thing for me. I mean, it definitely took a lot of lessons, for sure, to become more accustomed to it, because it was definitely very nerve wracking, you know what?
Speaker 1:I mean, you remember that yeah.
Speaker 2:It's definitely unlike anything else. I mean, honestly, I think it just it really just took waking up every morning and going back to the next lesson, you know, just to see how things would turn out, yeah, you know. And so definitely just consistency. And then after a while I'm like oh my gosh, maybe this is for me.
Speaker 1:Yeah Well, you definitely remained calm If you were apprehensive. You didn't show it. You took a lot of risks. You know you would canter that little pony over jumps with no hands, bareback, so um, but you developed your skill very quickly. You. You never turned me down when I asked you to do something, and so that makes for great camaraderie between horse rider and instructor. And I believe that any of you that are out there taking lessons and even if you're not taking lessons, but think about doing it, it takes three really it takes teamwork, it takes the horse, it takes the rider and it takes the instructor that extra set of eyes and experience can really help you to develop that skill that you want. Well, quentin, now let's change over to life skills. And how can we relate? How do you feel that you know, at the ripe old age of 20, what you have learned in navigating your way through life and how horses have helped you do that?
Speaker 2:Patience, because horses are probably one of the most stubborn creatures that you can deal with.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:They're very, very, very stubborn. I mean they have a mind of their own.
Speaker 1:So just patience really yeah, and I've watched you work with your thoroughbred and you did have to have a lot of patience with him because he was new at it. He didn't even know where to put his feet in the beginning. Then, when you started going over the jumps and he would refuse or he would not listen to you rating him back or counting your strides I never saw you get upset with him. I saw you take a deep breath occasionally. If you did get upset with him, you didn't let him know it. What do you attribute that to?
Speaker 2:I don't know, maybe it's in my nature, maybe it's just all the different experiences that I've had, especially in horse riding.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, you've had a few yeah yeah, yeah, you ever had a horse run off with you yes, definitely a few times. I remember Jesse right running off with you one time and you learned how to pull her, pull her nose into your knee. And what about Leo? Did he ever run up?
Speaker 2:yeah, I mean, I think maybe once or twice yeah well he, he had a big engine, didn't he? Yeah, physically you could really only do so much, but it's more about emotionally. If you're more emotionally attached to them, you have more control than any, any, any amount of way that you can pull oh, well said, well said.
Speaker 1:So it's a connection you, you get I mean definitely, definitely.
Speaker 2:Your body is definitely a big factor. I mean, if you're sitting all tense, like they can feel it too.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So if you just learn to control your body and your muscles, they'll feel it for sure.
Speaker 1:So, with any of your horse experience, what would you feel is your biggest success or your favorite success with the horse?
Speaker 2:I would say with Leo, for example, just seeing him improve for sure.
Speaker 1:That is well said, and here's why People, when you're dealing with anything in life, if you can improve yourself, improve the circumstances each day, just like 1%. If you have a goal every day and I learned this from Phil Haugen, who's a great podcaster and he says strive to improve yourself 1% every day Get up in the morning and say okay, today in some area I'm going to improve myself 1%. You instinctively knew that, and that's a great trait, because that's what self-growth is all about, and we all want to have that ability. And no matter how old you are, no matter how old I get, I want to improve. I want to improve myself every day. I'm not gauging myself against anyone else, just me. At the end of the day, I have done something to grow, and so thank you, quint, for reminding me of that. So, growing with your horse, that's a great success. So what might be your favorite failure with the horse?
Speaker 2:uh, that's a.
Speaker 1:That's a really good question I'm putting you on the spot here.
Speaker 2:Yeah so one thing that I can definitely remember is um, I remember when I was younger, I was in the arena, jesse, and I remember I was being dragged. I don't know if you remember that. Yes, yeah.
Speaker 1:You may not realize this, but you did learn that you got through that and getting through something like that and realizing you finished standing and you survived, and I think getting through a traumatic situation like that is a learning experience. And people, all of our favorite failures I call them favorite failures because we always learn. It's important for us to fail because if we didn't fail, we wouldn't learn. And if you'll think of it like this, fail is an acronym for first attempt in learning. So as we fail, we learn. I always say for the horse shows we either win or we learn. And if you feel like there is an ending to something like I know, quentin, you don't think that your horse career is over. You don't think it has ended, do you?
Speaker 2:I can't.
Speaker 1:No, I can't Good. Good Because to me, end is an acronym for effort never dies. With effort and with grit, with enthusiasm and determination, you will realize your dreams. So, Quentin, what is your dream when it comes to horses?
Speaker 2:I sure do see myself with a successful career, maybe not living on a farm, but having some horses in my life for sure, because that's probably I mean, that's probably what's really shaped me to be who I am today. So, honestly, I cannot see myself in the future without not owning a horse or so.
Speaker 1:So it has really shaped you into what you are today. Horses have taught you patience. What else?
Speaker 2:My ability to care for something else other than me. You know what I mean Showing compassion, you know.
Speaker 1:And you are, you are compassionate and I've seen you and I know you care.
Speaker 2:And really being empathetic towards another creature, yeah, and empathy, it's a curse and a blessing, really being empathetic towards another creature.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, and empathy. It's a curse and a blessing, because it can be difficult at times when you have so much empathy I do too and you can struggle with your own personal emotions.
Speaker 2:That's exactly how I am. Yeah, yeah, I care too much.
Speaker 1:But that's a good thing to to have. So you said that you know you definitely see yourself in the future with horses. How do you intend to get there? Because you know a goal is only a wish unless you have a plan yeah, I mean.
Speaker 2:Well, the first. The first goal right now is just working as hard as I can in school, honestly.
Speaker 1:Definitely you're on the right track and that's a great plan, because when you want certain tangible things in life, you have to work for them. But you can have anything you want as long as you're willing to work for it. Quentin, in closing, what advice would you give to young people who are perhaps just starting to take writing lessons or have the opportunity to, and haven't yet? What advice would you give them?
Speaker 2:Stay patient, stay resilient, keep going, no matter any failure that you have. Get on the next day with a smile, a happy smile, on your face. You know what I mean, and don't let any past experience affect you the next time you get on a horse.
Speaker 1:Because it's a new thing every single day. That's awesome and that's a great statement, really great. One last thing Now you are 20. One last thing Now you are 20. If you were to be able to sit with yourself as a 20-year-old and have your 6-year-old self sitting there, what would you tell him about the life to come?
Speaker 2:Well, you're in for a wild ride For sure.
Speaker 1:I love it. That's perfect. I know that's perfect. Thank you you. Well, there you have it, folks our discussion with someone who has grown up with horses and has. It's really made him into the person he is now, and I can tell you personally firsthand he is a fantastic, enthusiastic, intelligent, warm, loving human being. Thank you so much for joining me on this podcast and, as always, may all your blues be ribbons.
Speaker 2:Bye, bye I enjoyed being here.