Enjoy The Journey

Transcript

New Horse Cyrus And First Show

Second Show Progress And Joy

Gratitude For Trainers And Friends

Sponsor Message Tenda Horse Products

Western Pleasure Strategy And Reading Rooms

Grief And Living Better

Q And A Fix A Bitter Lope Off

Communication Lessons And Virtual Coaching Offer

Closing Takeaways

SPEAKER_00 0:13

Hello everyone. You're listening to The Horse Fix. This is the place where you can get a horse fix, you can fix your horse, and perhaps even help yourself along the way. I'm Dr. Sandra Holt, and I'm coming to you from my studio here in Longview, Texas. This podcast is not just about horses or for horse owners only. It's about all of us. It's for all of us. It's about waking up in the morning and trying to put one foot in front of the other, be accomplished, be happy, joyful, go to bed at night feeling like we've achieved something. Back when I decided to do podcasts, I did a deep dive into just what might help people through my podcast. And I discovered that it was the horse for me that has helped me navigate my way through life. I have learned so much from the horse. I've learned patience, responsibility, accountability, communication, and uh much more. So I decided that, you know, the horse has taught me so much. I should share that with everyone. And so whether you have a horse or not, I think that you can relate to what I have to say. On today's podcast, I thought we'd talk a little bit about living longer, but not just living longer, but living better. And get into that a little bit. And I want to talk a little bit about my new horse, Cyrus, and the last couple of horse shows that I've been to with him. And at the end, I'll answer a question. So let's get started. Boy, have I been busy these last couple of months. I took on a consulting job for a company who needed my help, and I'm just about to wind that up. So when I do, I'll have a little more time on my hands. Been going to horse shows, so I got my new horse, SST Billy Ray. But I call him Cyrus, and he's a cool horse. He's got a thousand buttons on him that he's been trained to do. I haven't learned them all yet, and I'm working on it. Sometimes I kind of make him mad when I'm searching for a particular cue to get him to move forward or to get him to collect for me and get him to come back to me. And he gets a little angry because, well, pilot error and me spurring him too much or or squeezing him in the wrong place or holding the reins too tight, trying to manipulate his body rather than give him a feeling that he can carry himself. And you know it's not easy. But I'm getting better. Went to the first horse show in uh April. No, I'm sorry. Not April yet. I went to the first show in February, my very first show with him, and the competition was unbelievable. I mean, every single person that was in my class, and they were big classes, was polished, flawless. I felt like, boy, I really need to up my game. In one of my classes, I did pretty well. But in the other classes, I was I was coming out dead last. I kept reminding myself, new horse. Don't know what, you know, I'm doing yet with him in the show pen. Gotta learn him. He has to learn me. All of that is good and well and true. But I I did find myself feeling defeated and disappointed that I didn't do better. And I had expectations, which you you should never have about a horse show. But I did. And then I came home from the show when Wayne and I sat and talked about it. I was expressing how how hard the show was and how not been against such competition in a long time. And Wayne reminded me that healthy competition is good for you. Competition makes you better, gives you a a target for you to shoot your arrow. I hadn't thought of it that way. And and then after he said that, I said, yes, this was a good show for me because it did teach me that there's another level that I need to strive for. If I want to get better, if I want to win some classes, then I need to put my nose to the grindstone and work even harder than I'm already working to get there. And he also mentioned, you know, Sandy, give yourself some grace. This was your first horse show with your brand new horse, and his words of wisdom definitely were helpful for me. So then just this past weekend, I went to my second horse show. It was so much better. In leaps and bounds, so much better. I didn't come dead last in any of the classes. I I I took a second in a tough class in the pleasure class, and that that's kind of hard for me. I fared well in my trail classes. I uh I did pretty good in showmanship, and uh, you know, I I felt more on my game, I felt more connected with Cyrus, and we were starting to blend and do a lot better work. We still have a ways to go. Still, I walked away not feeling completely joyful with my outcome. And I had to remind myself once again, I'm not writing for ribbons. And I tell myself before every show, Sandy, you're not writing for ribbons. You're writing for the pleasure, you're writing for that in the moment joy, in the moment fun. And yet I look ahead and say, okay, I I skip the fun sometimes and go right to the result. And it's really, you know, I've said this before, it's the journey. It's not only the journey in the show pen, but it's the journey getting to the show pen. The journey is wonderful. That's what it's all about. You go into the show pen and it may last five minutes, and that's done. And then you go on to your next journey. So if you discount all of the in-between things, then you've shorted yourself from enjoyment. You have taken away the actual essence of who you are. I have a wonderful person in my life, my aunt. One of the things she loves to do is iron. She I think she even irons her sheets and pillowcases. I have a sense that she doesn't iron for the result of it. I know she and her family loves the result, but I think she irons for the pleasure of it and for the tranquility and and for the sense of accomplishment. That's a perfect example of enjoying the process. So I have to kind of think on those terms and enjoy the process and not focus on writing for ribbons, but yet focus on the process itself and how fulfilling it can be and is for me. So at any rate, the horse show was really fun. The camaradity with all the competitors, the getting ready for it, the show itself was a lot of fun. And once again, I have to give a shout out to Alan Shaw, Shaw Performance Horses from Louisiana. I couldn't do as well as I'm doing without his help. And he's a perfectionist when it comes to training and to coaching. He he really steps up. He's very professional, very likable, relatable, and trustworthy. So I really enjoy being at Shaw Performance Horses. Alan and his wife Lori make you feel so welcomed. They're so much fun to be around, and they're fun to learn from. So thanks to the Shaws. And while I'm talking about the human side of horse showing, I'd like to express my gratitude to my circle of friends. Everybody needs somebody. I think there's a song like that. Anyway, these friends of mine, and I'm talking about Gindy and Kenny and Jan and Carolyn, David, Decey, and Nora, and and all of my friends at the horse show, uh, not to mention my family. You know, you guys are awesome, and I really appreciate all the support that you give me and your interest in what I'm doing. So thanks guys. Now then, I'd like to take a moment to thank one of my sponsors, Tinda Horse Products. Tinda has been serving the performance horse industry for more than 50 years with one clear mission to develop and manufacture safe, effective products that support the health, soundness, performance, and overall well-being of equine athletes. To highlight a few of their staples, first up is Tendu Sheen, a non-silicone shine product fortified with pro vitamins and silk amino acids. It leaves the coat soft, conditioned, and honestly, it smells like candy in a bottle. They also offer the only true itch the mall drawings salve on the market. Don't be fooled by the cheap imitations. Theirs is the real deal, sourced from an authentic Austrian mine. Another fan favorite is the Gideon shampoo. It's pH balanced, DEA-free, non-irritating, smells amazing, and is versatile enough for horses, dogs, and even livestock. And it doesn't stop there. With around 40 skews, they offer gaugeous, nutritional supplements, and peel salmon, and so much more. I've personally been pretender for just a few years, and it's truly been a great country. I always wanted to work in the wine industry, and there's no better way to do that company supporting a trusted wine and especially as part of the Door Sport Agriculture family of brands, including Farm Paint, Dorcher, Equicle, and Roto Harrow. So, guys, if you haven't tried the Tinder products, you really need to do so. And just call LexiShankle at 318-278-7150. Or email her at ashankle at tendahorse.com. That's A S H A N K L E at T-E-N-D-A-H-O-R-S-E.com. Their products are awesome, so don't pass it up. I really like the sheen that they have. It's called Tenda Sheen. And the really cool part about it is that it has a non-silicone shine. So you're not putting that plastic type of coating on top of their hair. It just makes such a difference because the hair stays healthy instead of being gooed up and you know and attracting dust and all that kind of stuff. So try them out, guys. Well I did, and I'm glad I did. And now back to the podcast. So talking about horse shows, and one particular class that I was in, it's called the Western Pleasure class. There were several horses in the pen at the same time. And it's really important that when you're showing your horse, that you present yourself so that the judge can see you. My class wasn't that crowded, but if it had been, I would be sure to have my horse positioned on the arena wall or the arena fence so that there was space between myself and the horse in front of me and the horse behind me so that I could really spotlight myself and the judge could see me. It's really important and to read the room, so to speak, and to know if you should go faster or slower or past someone or move around the arena somewhere else. Also to read the room in the way of is the horse behind you going to come up on your back end too fast? Is the horse behind you going to be very energetic and make your horse that way too when you don't want it to be? Or is the horse in front of you gonna suddenly stop? You know, so you you gotta listen what's coming up behind you, you gotta watch what's in front of you, and uh position yourself so that you can be seen by the judge and keep your horse calm and collected. And you know, I kinda think that it's that's the the way it is in life. We we need to be able to walk into a room and read the room. We need to know where should we sit? Should we go over to where the person's sitting all by themselves and strike up a conversation? Or should we go jump into the middle of the cluster of people that are over in the corner and having a time of laughter and storytelling? Or should we just stick around by ourselves? Reading a room is very important and no matter where you are, you're walking in church, or if you're going into your classroom, or if you're walking down the street, read the street. Read the people that are on the street. If you learn to read people, then you're gonna keep yourself safer, number one. You know, just imagine if you can read someone that is about to abduct you, you know, you can take action. Or if you read someone who needs you and needs your help or needs a kind word, and you can take action in that respect. It's important that you be aware uh of things, the little things. Be selective on who you want to stand next to or who you want to communicate with. Also notice the small things. All the small things add up to one big thing. Well maybe the one big thing is the day that we die. You know, not to sound morbid, but that's the big time. That is the happiest and most important day of your life, and it's the saddest and important day to your loved ones. So not to get off on a tangent here, but think it's true. And I guess this is a good time to say that I I lost very, very favorite aunt just a little bit ago. If you had heard my podcast about my Uncle Mel, well, this aunt, my aunt Leota, was married to Mel. And, you know, I don't know if she died from a broken heart or some of the other illnesses that she had, but she didn't last much longer after Uncle Mel. And I just, you know, I mean, we all we all have losses in our lives. And I just want to remind everybody that again, that the day that my Aunt Leota died was her happiest moment ever. And it was my saddest moment. So and so I have to turn that sadness into joy and know that uh she is where she wants to be now, and uh and she's she's with all the loved ones that she's lost. So Aunt Leota, thank you for being such a wonderful and inspiring and beautiful person to me. I you meant everything to me and still do. So I think it's time to go to a question. This question came to me via email from Cindy Rice in Albuquerque, New Mexico. Dear Sandra, thank you for doing your podcasts. I always get a lot out of them. I have a problem with my horse that I need to fix. Every time I ask it to lope off, it either turns its head toward my boot and tries to bite it, or he kicks out. How can I fix this? Sincerely, Cindy Rice. Okay, Cindy. The first thing you need to do if you haven't done it already, is have it thoroughly checked out by the veterinarian. Make sure that there's no physical reason that your horse is acting recalcitrant when you ask him to lope off. But let's say that he does get a clean vet check on that, then there are several things that you need to do. Firstly, just on the surface, it may appear that you're just overcueing your horse and i he's irritated by it. You know, I've said this before, horses do not lie. They don't have agendas like people do. They don't tell you what they think you want to hear. They tell you the truth in that moment. So think of it like this. It's not a problem when he kicks out or tries to bite. That's not a problem. It's an opportunity to learn something from your horse and to communicate in a better way to your horse. So take that opportunity that he has given you, do some deep diving into what may be the case. I think, like I said, I think you're probably over cueing him and maybe not trusting him enough to do the right thing. First thing I would try with him is take your spurs off and walk your horse in a medium-sized circle, then pick up the jog and jog him for a while, and then pick up the extended jog and do the extended jog for a little bit, and then press his hip over with your outside leg. Start with your calf, your and your lower leg. Don't use your heel yet. And if he doesn't respond by loping off with either a voice command and your leg, then add the heel and continue your voice command. I smooch when I ask a horse to lope off, but you may cluck or you may shush or or do something like that. I do recommend that you use a voice command because if you don't and all he has is to feel that heel or that spur, then he'll maybe resent you for not setting him up for the lobe departure. It's like storming into child's bedrooms and instead of knocking first and maybe saying out loud, Can I come in? Instead of doing that, you just push open the door without any warning. Well that child's going to resent you. So just like that, you know, you want to be able to set your horse up. Give him a cue before the cue. In other words, if you're going to lope off to the left, shift your body to the right a little bit, drop that right hip into the saddle, pull your right leg back a little bit from the from the thigh, pull the whole leg back and push his hip over just slightly, then sit deep and smooch, and then use the rest of your leg, and then if you have to, add the heel. while you're smooching. So you've got several different items there that you put together that help the horse to recognize what you're asking and to give him the chance to do it without you forcing. But if you're going straight to your spur and suddenly asking for a lope off, he he's gonna try and take care of that spur, you know, in in his way, he's gonna retaliate to that spur, which is probably why he's winging his head around and trying to bite you. So give him the benefit of the doubt and like I said, set set it up for success. Now if he's kicking out the same sort of thing and he's not liking it and he's expressing himself. So whenever a horse expresses themselves, I like it. Even if it's a negative way of expressing themselves, I like it because then I know that I need to communicate in a different way and I need to make a stronger connection in a different way. So that's what I would recommend. Start out slow and do it in stages the walk, the trot, the extended trot, and then while you have that momentum going, then do all the things I said, drop the hip, push down your seat, smooch, and allow him to take it. Now if he doesn't take it, go ahead and change directions and and turn him pretty tightly but don't yank on his mouth or anything. Just put those reins over his neck and you know press the rein in his neck and turn the other direction pretty tightly like a hairpin and then turn him back around the other way again. And then as you have his momentum going and he's thinking forward then ask again. This may take several sessions to get but if he's not turning around and trying to bite you, you're making progress. So think of it like that, you know, don't ask for perfection ask for progress and if he does go softly off I would right then and there I would bring him to a soft stop and I would get off of him, pet him, and let him go be be a horse somewhere. Turn him out to his pasture or put him in his his stall, brush him, give him a carrot, do what you want to do. But give him a sense of oh that was pleasant and now I get released and now I get a reward. And just kind of slowly putting that in his mind. Don't think of it that he's just a mean horse at all. Think of it that he's trying to communicate to you. And you'd be surprised if you just stop, go back to square one and start your relationship over that it may work sooner than you think. And you know that's life. That's the way it is with us humans. When your spouse or someone yells at you trying to communicate and you know if you s instead of retaliating back, if you step back and say why not just that he's yelling at you or she's yelling at you, but why are they and why do they have to yell at you instead of just talking. You may answer that question by looking into yourself and asking yourself why you say things you say and and and yell and you might find the answer to why your spouse does that you may find that or your friend or you know anyone in your life that you're having problems or or having opportunities to fix your communication. You know just do a deep dive into yourself and say okay why do I do things like that? Well frustration, fear, anger, and the lack of communication. Same thing with a horse so take the time to take a deep breath and to breathe and to think about what kind of communicating you need to do so that your horse or your spouse or your child is not frustrated, afraid, angry angry but can you can carry on a a nice conversation I hope that helps Sandy good luck and you know get back to me if you have any more questions I'd love to continue to help. By the way I do help people through the internet I have one person in fact I'll shout out to Sandy Bernard from Quitman. She's a friend that I had a long time ago and she didn't have horses and and was actually afraid of horses. Well she ended up getting some horses and so she's been texting and videoing and sending to me and asking for my opinion about how she might go about the certain challenges that she's dealing with being a first time horse owner and it's working out very well. So if any of you have a notion to take lessons from me virtually I'm happy to help you out there. So guys I think that's it for the day I think we covered several different topics. I certainly want to encourage you all to uh to not ride for ribbons, first of all, to enjoy the journey and the adventures to know that your loved ones when they pass it's their happiest day even though it may be your saddest and to know that people and horses aren't necessarily mean to you when they do something you don't like they're just trying to communicate. So with that note I wish you all a wonderful day and may all your blues be rivets. Bye bye